Today, in our society, many marriages are engulfed with many marital crises. Some of these marital crises grow to some magnitude that eventually crashes such marriages. For that reason, many couples will never enjoy their marriages to the fullest because of such crises.
However, it is disheartening to note that most of these marital crises are man-made or caused by couples, as some couples are doing what they ought not to do in their marriages while failing to do what they ought to do or what is expected of them in their marriages.
In order words, some couples are directly or indirectly responsible for crushing their marriages themselves. To this end, we shall be looking at some issues that cause marital crises that couples should avoid in their marriages.
One such negative issue that breed marital crises that couples should endeavor to avoid is selfishness. By all means, for couples who wish to enjoy crisis-free and successful marriages, the one negative attitude they must avoid or deal with ruthlessly is selfishness in all its ramifications.
That is to say that marriages of selfish couples hardly survive. It is for that reason that you always hear such couples cite irreconcilable differences as the cause of the collapse of their marriages. What could bring about irreconcilable differences if not selfishness?
A Selfish partner or both partners in any marriage will always wish to have his or her ways all the time. In other words, selfish couples always take their spouses for granted.
Couples who take their spouses for granted can do anything in their marriages with reckless abandon, without minding the feelings of or how their actions affect their spouses, as long as such actions are favorable to them.
So couples who wish to enjoy their spouses and marriages to the fullest, or to see their marriage to be void of crises, couples should never do things anyhow that give the impression that their spouses are taking for granted.
Secondly, another issue that breeds crises in marriages is living a suspicious lifestyle. Oh! Yes, suspicious lifestyles bring about most of the crises we see in our marriages.
Couples, who live suspicious life, they always suspect every move of their spouse. This is because they have skeletons in their cupboard themselves, therefore they tend to suspect one another in their marriages.
Again, the level of trust couples have for each other, determines the level of love they will show to each other. So couples who wish to avoid crises in their marriages, then they should build strong trust for each other and should avoid a life of suspicion. That is, they should not do things that could create suspicion in the minds of their spouses.
Moreover, to build a crisis-free marriage, couples must endeavor to avoid assumptions about the issues and the actions of their spouses. In other words, couples should not assume, but be sure of certain issues concerning their spouse.
Many marriages are in crisis today because some couples involved made the wrong assumption about certain issues and the actions of their spouses. Some equally relate with their spouses on whom they assume their spouses to be rather than on whom they really are. That breeds crises, so couples should try to avoid them.
One other issue that breeds crises that couples should avoid is living a secretive lifestyle. It is a secretive lifestyle that breeds a life of suspicion. Couples who live a creative lifestyle, suspect each other, and because they suspect each other, they don’t trust each other.
Couples who suspect each other, who don’t trust each other, will never enjoy their marriage to the fullest, such a lifestyle will surely breed crises in such marriage.
One practical way couples can prove that they are living a secretive lifestyle is the way they use their mobile phone. Can you boldly ask your spouse to answer an incoming call in your phone on your behalf?
There are couples who can’t answer an incoming phone call or make certain phone calls in the presence of their spouse without arousing suspicion. Couples who cannot boldly allow their spouse to answer the incoming calls on behalf of each other or couple who hide to make or answer certain calls is evident that they are living secretive life.
Another issue that breeds marital crises, which couples should endeavor to avoid, is taking certain decisions that affect the entire family without carrying each other along.
For instance, there was the story of a woman who bought a plot of land, build 4 blocks of flats, and rented them out without the knowledge of her husband. The husband only came to know about it when one of the tenants came to him to complain about a problem between him and another tenant.
Another man built a duplex and furnished it without the knowledge of his wife. The wife only came to know the day they were to pack into the new house. Such action brings mistrust and subsequent crises in marriage.
Couples should never take certain decisions by reason of third-party information without discussing such with each other. The major cause of crises in marriage is taking decisions and actions based on information from a third party.
One instance is about one woman who was heartbroken and devastated when she realized that the information that led to her leaving her husband was a total falsehood. Couples should try to discuss any information with their spouses before they make use of the information to react or take action.
Finally, couples must endeavor to avoid third-party interference in their marriage. Apart from the use of third-party information, couples should avoid third-party interference in their marriages.
Couples should never allow their friends, not even their mothers or fathers, should instruct them on how to relate with their spouse. Their parents could advise, but not instruct them, on issues or matters concerning how they should relate with their spouses.
Above all, couples must be committed to each other and their marriage. They should try to build strong love and trust for each other. Couples who diligently guard against these points mentioned above will see that their marriages will be crises free, and they will enjoy their marriages and spouses to the fullest. Shalom.