In our society today, some couples are enjoying their marriages to the fullness, other couples are having crises in their marriage while the marriages of some have crashed or ended in divorce.
Most of the couples that are having crises in their marriages is the result of their ignorance, that is, they lack the knowledge and understanding of how to run a peaceful and successful home.
In other words, as a result of ignorance, some couples are doing what they ought not to do in their marriage while failing to do what is expected of them.
Other couples, their own problem are that, even though they know what to do, they are not ready or willing to pay the price of what it takes to enjoy their marriage.
To this end, we shall be looking at some common marital problems you should avoid in your marriage if you don’t want your marriage to crash.
As said, these problems are so common in our marriages, but they are grievous and had crashed many marriages. But because these problems are so rampant in our society, they are classified as common marital problems.
The first of such common marital problems is infidelity. Infidelity, defined as “an act of unfaithfulness or disloyalty, especially to a se*ual partner”.
Infidelity is so common in our marriages, but they are grievous that they have crashed marriages and are still crashing marriages.
What happen with infidelity is that once you engage in it, that is extramarital affairs, you are ridden with guilt except you confess and are forgiven by your spouse.
Some couples, instead of confessing to their spouse, they go at any length to silence that guilt and once such guilt are silenced; they can do anything grievous to their spouse without feeling it.
Moreover, once any of the couple engage in extramarital affairs and as well as silence their conscience, the love they have for their spouse and marriage drops with over 50 percent. And any marriage with artificial love for each other never lasts.
Even though it is a common marital problem, infidelity is the height of betrayal and that is the reason why it is so grievous. Because the offended partners view the act as betrayal that they feel deeply hurt and betrayed.
As said, despite that infidelity is so common in our marriages; it at times becomes grievous that it had cost the lives of many offending partners.
Many of such partners lost their lives because of their involvement in infidelity as their partners were so offended or so hurt and grieved that they killed their offending partners.
If you are an offending partner, the solution lies in your going to your partner in repentance to ask for his or her forgiveness, promising or assuring him/her never to get involved in infidelity again.
And as the partner that was offended, you have no option than to forgive the offending partner from the depth of your heart if he/she ask for your forgiveness.
Moreover, the solution lies in each spouse guarding himself or herself never to start in getting involved in infidelity as it is hard to stop once it is started.
Another common problem that crash marriage is denial of se*ual satisfaction of one’s spouse or as they call it s*x starvation of one’s spouse.
This is one of the common issues that bring crises in a marriage which may eventually crash the marriage if not resolved.
In other words, if you don’t want to see your marriage crash, then you have to see the satisfaction your spouse se*ual as a marital obligation you owe to your him or her.
One of the issue of denying se*ual satisfaction to one’s spouse is that it brings about a chain reaction in such marriage. Some marriage partners do cite the reasons for their infidelity to se*ual starvation by their spouse.
Some time ago, I read an article in India Times titled “Divorce epidemic due to sex-starved marriages”.
Also, there was a thrend in naira land forum of a marriage that ended as a result of se*ual starvation
If therefore you don’t want to see the crash of your own marriage, then see to it that this mutual marital obligation is fulfilled to your spouse without any attached conditions.
There is also another issue similar to se*ual starvation which nowadays some women are involved in, that is charging their husbands before satisfying them se*ually. https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/wives-now-charging-husbands-for-sex/.
As a woman, to charge money to your husband for s*x means that you are a prostitute and not a wife.
There are other women that use satisfying their husband se*ually as a weapon or bargain to get what the wants from their husbands. This is wrong because doing so is the same as showing that you are a prostitute and not a legal wife.
However, the two common marital problems mentioned above which are infidelity and sex starvation are the result of se*ual maladjustment or disharmony.
While some marriage partners claim that they are se*ually starved in their marriage their partners claim that their partners are so se*ually over demanding.
Some couples trade blame on each other of being responsible for their se*ual non satisfaction in their marriage.
One peculiar issue about this se*ual maladjustment is that it brings about a chain reaction because infidelity mentioned in point one is one of the offshoot of se*ual maladjustment.
When it come to s*x starvation, some men is responsible for their wives starvation them of s*x. The reason is that some men are so selfish when it come to s*x, because they are not bothered about ensuring that their partners are satisfied as long as they get satisfied themselves.
Couples who observe that they have se*ual maladjustment or disharmony, the solution is never to blame or quarrel with their partner nor seek satisfaction outside your marriage.
As said, it is not a time to lay blame on one another, of who is responsible or who is not responsible. The solution is not to run to law court and end the marriage in divorce. Rather it a time to come together as a couple, discuss and pinpoint the problem.
Problems once mutually pinpointed are half solved. Couples who genuinely pinpoint the cause of their se*ual disharmony or maladjustment, the next is to seek the solution to that problems identified.
Please I counsel you to seek a solution to this se*ual maladjustment from an expert as I am sorry I can’t go beyond this in talking about se*ual matters here in this post.
Such se*ual matters are handled one on one, so I advise you to seek solutions from a qualified and knowledgeable person in this matter who can one on one counsel you as to help solve your problem.
This is the end of part one of the series, next time we will be looking at more or other common marital problems you should avoid in your marriages and their solutions.
Till I come your way again, remain blessed, focused and committed to your marriage. In doing so, your marriage will be evergreen. Shalom.