If you look the world over, you will observe that marriage failure is on the increase. These marriage failures cut across all spheres of our society, as some notable men and women have failed marriages.
For instance, the late Mandela, despite that he was one of the best-known leaders in Africa, he had a failed marriage. What of the royal marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana, their marriage had been history.
Also in the news a few years ago, the newspaper [dailymail.co.uk], a popular newspaper in Britain carried the news that one of the world leaders, the Russian President Vladimir Putin had confirmed the divorce from his wife of 30 years by removing all mention of her on his official website.
What about the marriage of a popular Preacher from Nigeria, Pastor Chris who in the year 2015, went wild on the internet and newsprint that he had a marriage failure as his wife of many years had divorced him?
As said, all these marriage failures cut across every sphere of our society as popular and unpopular, rich/wealthy and poor, in fact, there are many high fliers in our society whose marriages are failures.
This goes to confirm what I have been saying “you can be very successful in your career or live endeavors but awful failure in your marriage”. This is because there are factors that once they are obtained in any marriage, such marriage will surely crash or fail.
I, therefore, join the BIBLE warnings as can be seen in 1st Corinthian 10:12 which says, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands should take heed lest he falls”.
In other words, this bible verse is a warning that you should be careful with your marriage; this is because what happened to some couples that resulted in their experiencing a marriage failure could happen to you.
If all these people mentioned above could have marriage failures, do you think that you are immune from marriage failure? This calls for caution with the way you handle and run your marriage. So learn from those who had failed marriages.
Therefore, we shall be looking at some factors that once they exist in your marriage, they will surely cause your marriage to fail, so avoid these factors to avoid your marriage from being a failure.
In the first instance, one of the factors that cause a failed marriage is taking each other for granted: Those who took their spouse for granted, they can do or say anything with recklessly abandon not minding the feelings of their spouse.
Couples who took their spouse for granted, they are those who can easily jump into bed with another man or woman in extra-marital affairs. Some even commit extramarital affairs in their matrimonial bed.
In other words, it is taking one’s spouse for granted that push a man/woman goes into extramarital affairs and of a truth, infidelity is more often than not the number one cause of marriage failures.
Couples who took each other for granted, they can do or say anything to their spouse without bothering the feelings of their spouse.
Lack of trust or betrayal of trust is another factor. Any marriage in which couples involved don’t trust each other, such marriage hardly lasts as trust is one of the bedrocks of a successful marriage.
Couples who don’t trust each other in their marriage, they are fond of suspecting each other for any little thing. To this end, couples should guard against the betrayal of the trust they have for each other if they don’t want their marriage to crash.
Another factor is poor communication and lack of intimacy among couples. Show me couples that are intimate with each other and I will show you a couple whose marriage will go a long way in enjoying a successful marriage.
To create intimacy among couples, it takes time and conscious efforts by the couples. It calls for spending quality time with each other to build intimacy. They achieve this by been together always and doing several things together such as praying and playing together.
It then means that couples who stay apart for long, who don’t come together for long are taking the risk of marriage failure. That may be what caused the marriage of Pastor Chris and Alinta to crash.
Allowing unresolved conflicts and misunderstanding for so long is another factor that causes some marriages to fail. Some couples allow conflicts and misunderstanding between them to linger for so long unresolved.
As a result, this leads to a crack in their marriage. It is, therefore, necessary that couples should not allow any conflict or misunderstanding to linger for so long unresolved.
Once couples notice any crack in their marriage, they should try and fix it immediately and should avoid allowing it to linger for so long. When I talk about crack, I mean misunderstandings, conflicts, and little quarrels that are allowed to linger.
Another factor responsible for marriage failures are couples who allow love between them to get soured. Love is the bedrock and oil that lubricates any marriage, but unfortunately, some couples out of negligence allow the love between them to get soured.
It is, therefore, necessary that couples who don’t wish to experience failed marriage should endeavor never to allow love for each other to get soured.
Of a truth, I have never seen couples who have a deep love for each other whose marriage will end in divorce. It is only when love for each other gets soured that other negative things begin to follow such as conflicts that lead to divorce.
Couples who allow selfishness to take hold of them is another factor that causes failed marriages. The truth is that some couples are in marriage relationships for the reason of what to grab from such a marriage relationship.
For such couples, they don’t mind whether they are giving out anything or whether their spouses are getting anything. Once they failed to get those things they were expecting from their spouse, conflicts do results which result in the crash of such marriage.
Also, another way selfishness manifests itself in a marriage is to stick to one’s points of view not minding the effect of such a view on their spouse or marriage. That is why you normally hear couples cite the reasons for their marriage failure as “irreconcilable differences”.
Moreover, another factor is lack of commitment to one’s marriage: Most often, it is a lack of commitment to one’s spouse and marriage that make some of the factors mentioned above to get introduced in a marriage.
To this end, couples must vow never to allow another man or woman to snatch his or her wife or husband. They should be so committed to each other and should vow to sink or swim with their spouse.
In conclusion, if you don’t allow in your marriage any of the factors mentioned above which had caused some marriages to fail, your marriage will never fail.
So I encourage you to stay committed to your marriage and never allow it to fail. Shalom.
