In part one of this series, we looked at four of the issues that couples who wish to enjoy crisis-free marriages should avoid. This is part two and the completion of the series.
The third issue we said that couples should avoid that brings crises in their marriage is living a suspicious lifestyle. So in addition, apart from living a suspicious lifestyle, the fifth issue is that couples should also avoid living a secretive lifestyle.
It is living a secretive lifestyle that breeds a life of suspicion. Couples who live a secretive lifestyle, they do suspect each other, and because they suspect each other, they don’t trust each other in their marriages.
Couples who suspect each other, and who don’t trust each other, they will never enjoy their marriage to the fullest as such lifestyle will surely breed crises in their marriage.
One practical way to prove that you are not living a secretive lifestyle is the way you use your phone. Can you boldly ask your spouse to answer an incoming call for you on your phone?
There are couples who hide to answer incoming calls on their phone. As a husband or wife, can you answer phone calls in the presence of your spouse without arousing suspicion?
If you cannot boldly allow your spouse to answer an incoming call in your phone or you hide to make or answer your calls, then it is evident that you are living a secretive life.
The sixth issue that couples who wish to build a crisis-free marriage, they should avoid is taking actions or reacting against actions of their spouses based on assumptions, gossips or hearsay.
Most of the time, some of our negative reactions against our spouses on certain issues turn out to be false at the end. In other words, couples should try to be sure of issues concerning their spouses before they react negatively.
Some marriages are in crisis today because couples involved in such marriages acted on assumptions or hearsay about the actions of their spouses.
Also, some couples equally relate with their spouses on who they assume their spouses to be rather than on who they really are. That equally breeds crises, so try to avoid wrong assumptions about your spouse’s actions and reactions.
Couples who wish to build crisis-free marriages, in addition, to avoid take action or reacting against their spouses based on assumptions.
Couples should as well avoid making decisions or acting or reacting against their spouses based on third party information without discussing the issue with their spouses.
The major cause of crises in some marriages is taking actions or reactions against our spouses based on information from a third party without confirming such information.
For instance, one woman was heartbroken and devastated when she realized that the information that led to her leaving her husband was a total falsehood.
So try to discuss any information with your spouse before you use third party information to react or take negative actions against your spouse.
Equally, couples should totally avoid third party interference in their marriages if they wish to build crisis-free marriages. That is to say, that apart from the use of unconfirmed third party information against their spouses, couples should equally avoid third party interference in their marriage.
Couples should realize that not even their parents should be allowed to interfere in their marriages.
In other words, your friends, not even your mother or father should instruct you on how to relate with your spouse. Your parents could only advise you but not instruct you on issues or matters concerning how you relate with your spouse.
Finally, couples should equally avoid taking major decisions without carrying their spouses along. For instance, there was this story of a woman who bought a plot of land and built 4 blocks of flats and rented them out without the knowledge of her husband.
The husband only came to know of it when one of the tenants came to him to complain to him about a problem between him and another tenant.
Another man built a duplex, furnished it without the knowledge of his wife. The wife only came to know the day they were packing into the new house. Such action brings mistrust and subsequent crises in marriage.
Above all, be committed to your marriage and build strong love and trust for each other. Couples who diligently guard against these issues in their marriages, they are sure to build marriages that will be crises free.
Also, you will enjoy a successful and exciting marriage, you will enjoy your marriage and spouse to the fullest. Shalom.
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