It pains me each time I read about ladies who wasted their lives over the issue of marriage. Some waste their lives when they pass a certain age and feel that they may never marry in this life again.
For instance, look at what happened here. “Bridesmaid, 31, hanged herself after struggling to cope with seeing her friends get married while she failed to find a partner”.
Whatever is the case, no need to waste your life over marriage because God has an enviable marital destiny? The first thing I want you to realize it that relationships are like two doors.
There are two doors, one of the doors must open and the second door closed. If you see the second door start to open, it signals that the first door must close. Except the first door closes, the second door will never open, and vice versa.
I wish to say that as a lady, that one man ditching you may be for you to find a better man. You may never find a better man unless the first man leaves and releases you, and you equally release the man from your heart.
I am a living testimony to what I am saying. Today I am enjoying the best time in my marriage, yet my present wife is not the first woman in my life I wanted to marry. It was when the relationship with the first lady that I was able to see my present wife.
The truth was that I was so devastated when the relationship broke. What happened was that the week the relationship broke; I went to see my pastor for counseling. My pastor then asked if I was a Christian, and I said yes.
The pastor asked me how I was sure that the lady was God’s perfect choice for marriage and not my own choice. He further told me that God may be packaging another woman, and I was trying to marry another man’s wife.
Moreover, he told me that no matter how much we love each other, that the relationship will surely crash. His reason was that we are not meant for each other because God will never allow me to marry a woman He did not mean for me.
This was the reality, I later got married, and the lady was equally married to another man. As of today, we relate as family friends as I have her number, and she had mine. Most times, we call each other to inquire about the welfare of our different families.
One thing that should be noted was that the man of God equally told me that the earlier we forgive and release each other from the depth of our hearts, the better for us. It is then that we can see the actual person He had made for us. Today the lady is happily married, and I am happily married.
I shared this story because some young girls kill themselves because some men abandoned them for other ladies. Moreover, I still remember the story told by Pastor E.A. Adeboye. In that real-life story, pastor Adeboye shared a story about one lady.
That lady in the story, the man who was engaged to marry her, got recruited into the Nigerian army and as an army recruit. As a result, he broke his engagement with the lady. The lady was devastated, but her pastor helped to console and comfort her.
After about one year, a young man came home from oversea training. She saw the lady and got interested in her. The man said he was an engineer and the lady was relating to him as an engineer.
The man eventually married the lady and a few months after they got married, there was an army coup d’état in Nigeria. The engineer was appointed the military governor, being a Corneal in the army. He was an army engineer but chose to answer only as an engineer.
The end of that story was that in the state the man was sent to the governor, the first man that abandoned her was equally sent to the resident of the engineer as security. Anytime the woman was to go out; it was the army recruit that ran to open the car door for her. What if the lady had killed herself because that army recruit abandoned her?
Putting all these together, the message I am trying to pass across is that no matter how you love a man and the man loves you, if you are not meant for each other for marriage. That is if you are not destined to marry each other that the relationship will never materialize into marriage.
In other words, God may even be the one that scatters that marriage to enable another man he had packaged and reserved for you to find you. However, you must forgive the man and not hold bitterness against him in your heart.
From my own experience, it may be very hard to do, but once you succeed, it is the master key. In my own case, the pastor that counseled me told me to start praying for the lady. It was when I started praying for the lady that real peace returned to my heart and I forgave her wholeheartedly.
As long as you are harboring bitterness in your heart against the man/woman, your eyes will never open to see the man/woman the lord had packaged and reserved for you.
It is disheartening that some ladies equally kill themselves by committing suicide for the reason that they have reached a certain age without getting men to marry them.
This is supposed not to be so. In destiny, delays, not denial. That marital delay may be the time God is preparing you or preparing the man he meant for you. Some years ago, one woman testified that she got married for the first time at the age of 54.
Also, I wish to ask you, the popular man of God in Nigeria; he remarried after his first wife died. The second woman he married, I don’t think that she is less than 40 years of age.
What that means is that no matter your age, if God has destined that you will marry, he will surely bring your husband your way. However, you need to be sure that you are not the one that rejected the man God is sending your way to be your husband.
Until I come your way again, it is never too late to marry until you make it to be too late by wasting your life. Shalom!