I kept saying it, “divorce is nothing but an easy way out of a troubled marriage, even though it is not the best option”. Yes, most couples, when they observe some crises in their marriage relationship, they quickly rush to court to end it in divorce.
However, some who divorced later regretted their action when they realized that what caused their divorce would have been fixed. It pains me whenever I read about failed marriages, especially when I observe the minor issues that caused such marriages to fail, as that could have easily been fixed.
In the first instance, to sincerely fix a troubled marriage or relationship, the starting point is to change our focus. That is, we should change our focus to ourselves and our actions, rather than focusing on the actions and character of our spouses.
What some people fail to realize is that most of the time, it is our actions that are responsible for the actions of our spouses. For instance, remember the story I shared on the post “$exual harmony in marriage, it takes two to tango”.
In that post, I shared how one man was having marital crises as a result of $ex denial by his wife. By my counsel, he changed his attitudes and actions towards his wife, and his wife equally changed her attitude towards him.
After the couple changed their attitude towards each other, their marriage is now blossoming and is more exciting than ever.
That is to say, that the most cause of marriage crises results from focusing more on the actions of our spouses while failing to take cognizance of our own actions. We expect our spouses to change their actions or character, while we are not ready or willing to change ourselves.
Secondly, it is our dwelling more on the negative aspect of our spouse’s character more than we are focusing or dwelling on the positive aspect of his or her character. For that reason, the devil always x-rays us many negative things in the character of our spouses.
Personally, I no longer struggle with the devil over this because whenever the devil tries to point to me one negative issue in my wife’s character, I accept that it may be true but quickly go ahead to point to him three to five positive issues in her character and by so doing the devil will quickly flee.
The point is that the devil always tries to show us overwhelming negative issues in the character of our spouses, thereby blindfolding us not to look at the positive aspects of his or her character. While as if we focus more on the positive aspect of his or her character, we will get blinded to consider the negative aspect of his or her character.
One other issue that can be used to fix a troubled marriage or relationship is to find a way to rekindle the love for each other. Love is the bedrock of every marriage, so you will agree with me that when love is blossoming among a couple, they will never contemplate divorcing.
The main reason why some couples contemplate divorcing their spouses or ending any relationship is that the love for each other has stopped growing or had gotten soured.
When love gets soured among couples or in a relationship, other negative issues will surely follow. So if couples concerned will agree to sit down and examine what actually caused their love for each other to get sour, or what happened to their first love?
It is obvious, it is when love for each other stops growing that it can then get sour, and it takes time before love among couples get soured. Anything that is alive keeps growing, so if a couple’s love for each other is not growing, they should do something about it before it gets soured.
In addition, couples need to rekindle or renew their trust in each other. There is nothing that causes a marriage to break down more than a loss of trust among couples. One of the greatest causes of loss of trust is infidelity.
It is pertinent to note that love among couple get soured when either or both parties is involved in infidelity. As a result of infidelity, their love gets divided and before long the love for their spouse gets soured.
Whenever one or both couples get involved in infidelity, the love and trust of the other partner get betrayed and if such love and trust are not renewed, such marriage will end up crashing.
Couples should therefore by all means try to avoid anything that could cause a betrayal of the love and trust of their spouses. In the event of any betrayal, couples should as a matter of urgency try and quickly rekindle or renew their trust in each other.
This is the end of part one. We will continue our discourse next in part two, so keep a date with us. I hope that you have gotten one or two things from the posts?
If yes, why not share the posts with your friends and followers on social media. I am really counting on you to share this post and other posts with your social media followers.
Until I come your way again, stay committed to your marriage. Shalom!.