For those who know and apply the secrets of what it takes to enjoy their marriages, their marriage can be sweet and exciting rather than be living in selfishness.
However, for couples who don’t know the secrets of how to run their marriage, it can be frustrating, while others are busy destroying their own marriages with their own hands. Marriages thrive when there are harmonies and strong love among couples, as well as the absence of selfishness.
Nevertheless, if you take a survey of traits that causes or is causing marriage failures, you will observe that selfishness will be ranked number one. This is because there is no marriage that can withstand selfishness.
There are some marriages that started with a genuine love for each, but once selfishness comes in, love for each other becomes poisoned and such marriage soon collapses. It is only couples who have fulfilled this Biblical injunction, as can be seen in Genesis 2:24 – 25 that can enjoy their marriages better.
The verses said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. It is only when couples deal ruthlessly with selfishness that they can be one flesh.
Couples who are strongly committed to their marriage and whose love for each other is equally strong; are those couples who have become one flesh indeed, while others are far from being one flesh because of their selfishness.
In a marriage in which any of the partners is selfish, the other partner will be enduring the marriage instead of enjoying it. And when both spouses are selfish, their marriage will never survive. And that is why couples must deal ruthlessly with selfishness if their marriages are to survive.
Selfishness is one attitude that had crashed and is crashing marriages every day. Quite often, when you see couples who are going through a divorce, they cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their divorce.
One may ask what else can cause couples to have irreconcilable differences if not selfishness? Selfish couples are never committed to their marriage, while it is the level of our commitment to our marriage that proves whether we are selfish in our marriage relationship or not. Selfishness doesn’t allow couples to get committed to their marriages.
Marriages also thrive better when couples learn to acknowledge or accept when they are at fault or wrong, but selfish couples never accept that they are wrong. Selfish couples, instead of accepting the blame when they are at fault and taking corrections, never accept that they are at fault, instead, they are quick to blame their spouse as the reason they did what they did.
In my local slang, they said that marriage is like two dogs playing. If you watch two dogs play, they fall for each other and that’s what makes their play enjoyable. Selfish couples, never accept to fall for each other, but insist on having their way all the time, not minding if that is right or wrong.
Again, in marriages that thrive better, couples live a life of sacrifice, a life of gives and take. But for selfish couples, are not ready and willing to sacrifice, but rather they always seek to receive all the time. They always go for issues that favor them alone, not minding how the issue affects their spouse.
Greater numbers of couples are in marriage relationships for the reasons of what they are getting or what they hope to get from that relationship, and not what they are ready and willing to give out.
Selfish couples, when they feel that they are not getting what they want from a marriage relationship, they call such marriage relationships a quit by divorce.
So I wish to ask you that had gone through a divorce or are contemplating going for a divorce, are you sure that it is not selfishness that is pushing you? I am sure that if couples could rethink, and deal ruthlessness with and selfishness, their marriages would be salvaged.
In other words, if couples going to divorce could sit down, and accept that their actions are selfish, their marriages would be salvaged. A man who is selfish, anytime he had an urge for $ex, he will insist on having his way, even if his wife doesn’t have the urge or is in the mood.
Even while having $ex with their spouse at a period is painful, they are not bothered so long as they get satisfied $exually. Moreover, it is selfishness that causes women to deny $ex deliberately to their husbands simply because their husbands refused to do their bidding.
Quite often, selfish women use $exual satisfaction to their husbands as a weapon to force their husbands to do their bidding. Quite often, it is selfishness that causes couples to betray their spouse by getting involved in extramarital affairs or infidelity.
Couples, who are selfish, easily cheat on their spouses; they don’t consider or bother about the feelings of their spouse. One thing with selfishness is that some couples are quick to point accusing fingers at their spouses for being selfish.
They refuse to accept the facts that they are selfish themselves because their actions clearly show evidence of selfishness. My dear, analyzing your actions, are they not proof that you are selfish?
Accepting that you are selfish is the starting point to dealing with selfishness. So you should sincerely carry out a self-analysis of your actions and accept actions that are selfish and then turn new leaves.
If you sincerely do that, your marriages would surely take a U-turn for the better instead of manifesting selfishness. If you sincerely do that, your marriages would surely take a U-turn for the better instead of manifest selfishness.
Don’t see your marriage to that man/woman as a mistake, you are the mistake, and your actions and reactions are the mistakes because of your selfishness. So deal ruthlessly with selfishness which is the cankerworm destroying your marriage, and you will prove what I am saying is true. Shalom
image credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2382017/Selfish-people-eventually-die-evolution-favours-cooperation.html