This is very obvious before we got married, we were all hopeful and dreamt of getting married to the man or woman of our heart that will enable us to enjoy a successful and exciting marriage to the fullest.
But after we got married, the story was not as we expected in our marriages. Yes, If you look at some gardens, you will so much admire them because the gardens are well watered and taken care of.
However, in some other gardens, they are always overgrown with weeds and the site looks ugly. The same is true of some marriages; some marriages are like that well-watered garden, while some are not.
So, for your marriage to be like that of a well-watered garden, you must attend or work on your marriage for it to work. You must pay the necessary price by implementing certain principles that make for a successful and exciting marriage.
That is why it is said, “Work on your marriage if you want to see your marriage work.” Most of the time, we see some couples enjoying their marriages and each other to the fullest, and we admire and cherish them, but the opposite is seen in our own marriage.
The reason is that some worked on their marriage by paying the necessary price and that is why they are enjoying the fruits of their labor. It is said, “the way you make your bed is the way you will lay on it”. Your marriage is good or sweet as you make it.
Some couples, because of the negative things they are seeing in their marriage, always accuse each other of being responsible. They point accusing fingers at each other for being responsible. Some even say many bad things about their spouse, even calling him or her a witch or wizard.
Some think that marrying that man or the woman was a mistake. It is not so, your marriage was not a mistake, but you are the mistake. To this end, if you will diligently follow these simple steps, you will see that you will launch your marriage into a positive new dimension and the next level.
In the first place, you should reflect back and answer this question, “why did you choose that woman as your wife, or why did you accept that man as your husband”? I strongly believe that the main reason was that you loved him or her. So the question then is “what happened to that love, is that love increasing or declining, and why”?
So to launch our marriage to the next level, we must necessarily answer the love issue and take practical steps to really change and recover that love if we expect to move our marriage to the next level.
The following are the practical check to prove our commitment and love for each other, it is necessary that both couples should sit down together and ponder and sincerely ask and answer the following questions?
Firstly, what is the strength of our love and commitment to our marriage and to each other? Do we sincerely love and are committed to each other? If both couples resolve to sincerely love each other more and get more committed to our marriage and to each other, we will see that our marriages are launched to a new or next level.
Secondly, to what extent are we taking good care of the welfare needs of each other? In fact, when last did we buy things like presents for each other? Particularly as a man, to what extent are you grooming your bride?
You will recall that men are called bridegrooms when we are matched to the altar, meaning that we are expected to groom our bride. So to what extent are you doing that?
Thirdly, to what extent are we taking good care of the sexual needs of each other? Are we enjoying our $ex life to the fullest, or are not starving each other of $ex? The two of you should resolve to satisfy each other $exually at all time without attaching any condition and never at any time or reason starve each other of $ex.
Moreover, to what extent are we intimate with each other? You see, our love for each other start to decline whenever we no longer have time for each other. Both couples should resolve and start to build a stronger intimacy with each other, and we will surely see that our marriage relationship will take a positive turn around and move to the next level.
Next is, to what extent do we accept corrections when we are wrong and as well as apologize and forgive each other when we are wrong? Both partners should learn to accept when we are wrong and learn to say “I am sorry from the depth of our hearts” and as well learn to forgive and forget when your spouse says “I am sorry”.
Also, to what extent do we trust each other? The problem with some couples is that they don’t trust each other, so both partners should resolve and start to build a strong trust in each other and resolve not to betray the trust they have for each other.
One of the reasons some marriages crash is because couples involved in such marriages don’t trust each other. They also do things with reckless abandon without minding how their partner feels about them, that is why we hear the phrase, “I love you, but I can’t trust you”.
Finally, Couples should deal ruthlessly with selfishness. Selfishness is a sure sign that we don’t have a strong love and trust for each other. Once couples start to use the phrase “irreconcilable differences”, it is a sure sign that selfishness has taken root in their marriage relationship and must be dealt with ruthlessly if that marriage must survive.
Obviously, couples who love and trust each other, most of the time compromise their stand just to please each other. Couples, who love each other and are not selfish, don’t insist on having their way, so to insist on having our way is a sign of selfishness.
The above points are very simple marriage principles, but will surely launch our marriage to a greater height and the next level if we and our spouses will diligently implement them. See you and your spouse move to the next level in your marriage. Shalom!.