In this life, it is an obvious fact that we entered into marriage relationship with the desire and high hopes of enjoying a successful and exciting marriage.
However, while as some couples are enjoying their marriage to the fullness, others are experiencing dullness and turbulent in their own marriages.
One day I visited my wife in her office and after she introduced me to the women in her office, one of the women looked at her and did not know when she started shading tears, saying that my wife was lucky, that she married a good man as a husband. She said that her own husband was a beast and a monster.
You can trust me, after hearing that remark about her husband, I took it from there and asked her, “As your husband is a beast and a monster, will you have appreciated that he had died last year or that he should die this week”?
After I asked her the above question, the woman looked at me and shouted: “no I don’t want my husband to die”. I am glad to point out that about 30 minutes I spent with that woman made a huge difference in her marriage because she implemented all that I told her.
To show that what I told her did some miracle in her marriage, she came back with her husband some weeks later, requesting to see me. The reason her husband wanted to see me was to see the man that did some miracle in the life of his wife.
The wife in turn confessed in my presence that she did not know that her husband was a loving and caring man.
In other words she acknowledged that my suggestions saved her marriage as her husband is now showing her love and care. Also, she said that her husband is now taking good care of her and her family, the responsibilities he earlier abandoned and left for her.
I wish to say that the few things I shared with that woman are the things I am sharing with you here. Even If the current state of your marriage is not as good as you may have desired it, you can positively turn it around like that woman did if you wish by your readiness and willingness to implement what I am sharing with in this post.
In the first instance, couples who wish to have a successful and exciting marriage, the first thing they must necessarily do is to change the wrong mindset they have about their spouse and marriage. Some men call their wives witch and some women call their husband monster like that woman I shared her story.
As long as you have a wrong mindset about your spouse in your subconsciousness you can never enjoy him/her or your marriage. Because you are having a wrong mindset, and a wrong mental picture of your spouse and that is why he/she may never do things that will please you.
As the case with that woman, all I did was to erase the wrong mental image or picture she had about her husband in her subconsciousness and in its place I painted and planted a mental image of a lovely and caring husband in her subconsciousness.
After painting the image of a loving and caring husband in her subconsciousness, I told her that she need to change her attitude as to correspond to that image she was carrying about her husband.
In other words, you are the one who created what your spouse has become. Because you had created the image of a monster or a witch, consciously or unconsciously, you built an attitude to relate with the monster or the witch you created.
So if consciously you change your attitude to correspond with the positive image of a loving and caring spouse, you will see that your spouse will not even know when he/she change himself or herself to be loving and caring.
Whatever qualities you desire to see in your spouse, paint that image or picture of that person in your sub- consciousness and change your attitude and begin to relate to your spouse as if he/she is already that man or woman.
All that I am saying is that it is your actions and reactions that made your spouse who he/she is. So through your actions and reactions, you can as well change him/her to be the man/woman you want or desire him or her to be.
So if you will build that attitude of never to do anything to will offend your spouse and as well refuse to take offense on what your spouse does, you will see that your marriage will never have crises.
Secondly, after building a positive mental picture of your spouse, you should also desist from looking or finding fault with your spouse. One of the major problem of couples is that they specialist in fault finding.
As long as couples are focusing their attention on the weakness and faults of their spouse, they will never see any good thing in their spouse; rather it will be his or her faults.
Thirdly, couples should do their best to do only those things that are pleasing to their spouse. The main reason why some men are keeping late night at night clubs is because of the attitudes of their wives.
Also there are men that don’t eat at home because they complain that their wives don’t know how to cook. As a woman, you hold the key to the success and happiness of their home. If you husband complain about your cooking, you should take time and go to catering to learn how to cook.
So until I come your way again, stay committed to your marriage and totally avoid having a wrong image or picture of your spouse. Rather, create and plant a positive image of your spouse in your subconsciousness and you will see that your marriage will be successful and exciting. Shalom.