This is the second part of the series “toward building a successful and exciting marriage”. In part one; we looked at the need to change the wrong mindset we may have about our spouse and marriage, and need to have a positive attitude in our relationship with our spouse. CLICK HERE to read part one if you have not.
As we continue our discourse, in this post, we shall be looking at other things that we need to do in building a successful and exciting marriage.
Apart from changing our wrong mindset and attitude, couples must totally avoid unrealistic expectation from their spouse.
Avoid having unrealistic expectation from your spouse: The problem with some couples is that they are having unrealistic expectations from their spouse. Many a time, their spouse cannot meet up with such expectations.
As a result, they get frustrated and fight their spouse for not meeting up such expectations. What you are expecting from your spouse, will you fulfill or meet up with such expectation yourself?.
Avoid comparing your spouse with other men or women: In addition, couples must learn or totally avoid comparing their spouse with other men or women in town.
Couples who wish to build a successful and exciting marriage, they must learn to relate to their spouse on who their spouse really is and not on whom they wish or expect their spouse to be.
To build a successful and exciting marriage, couples must learn to accept and celebrate their spouse on who he/she really is.
In one of my posts, I pointed out the need to choose as our life partner a person we are proud of. So as you have got married to your spouse, you should appreciate God for him/her and celebrate him/her.
Even though he/she may not be the best, you should never start to compare him or her with other men or women in town.
It is comparing their spouse with other men or women that make some couples to begin to have some unrealistic expectations from their spouses.
When one starts to compare his or her spouse with other men/women, he or she will start to relate to his/ her spouse on who they wish or expect their spouse to be rather than on who he/she really is.
Lear n to build a strong trust for each other:To Build a successful and exciting marriage, couples must learn to trust each other. Couples, who don’t have trust for each other, may never enjoy a successful and exciting marriage.
In addition, they should try and totally avoid betraying this trust they have for each other. I wish to ask, “to what extent do you trust each other”?
Talking about trust, you should avoid living a secretive lifestyle as it creates suspicion in the minds of our spouse.
An Example of secretive lifestyle that creates suspicion in the heart of our spouse is trying to hide to answer phone calls.
There are men and women who may be sitting with their spouse but when calls are coming, they get up to hide to answer the calls.
That shows there are something you are hiding from your spouse. To what extent are you open to each other? Can you confidently leave your handset with your spouse and expect him or her to answer calls on your behalf?
Moreover, couples who wish to build a successful and exciting marriage, they must be ready and willing to offer as much as what they are expecting from their spouse.
The problem with many couples is that they are expecting much from their spouse but they are not ready and willing to offer as much as they are expecting from their spouse.
In other words, they are expecting their spouse to satisfy them but they are not bothered whether their spouse is satisfied or that they are satisfying their spouse.
If couples would learn to do things that are aimed at satisfying each other, they will observe that their marriage will be successful and exciting.
Couples must avoid or stop manipulating each other: I said something above about the need to relate with our spouse based on who he/she is and not on whom we expect our spouse to be.
But this is not normally the case with some couples, because of their unrealistic expectation from their spouse; they are manipulating their spouse, expecting him/her to change to do their biddings.
Have a positive attitude about the fault or shortcoming of your spouse: The level you enjoy a successful marriage is determined by the way you react to the fault or shortcomings of your spouse.
In other to build a successful and exciting marriage, couples should learn never to mind the faults and shortcoming of their spouse. When you consider that you are not an angel, in other words, you have a fault or shortcomings yourself.
For that reason, you should focus more on the positive side of your spouse and not on his or her faults. The problem with some couples is that every point in time, they are exposing their spouse trying to find fault with him or her while ignoring their own faults or shortcomings.
As long as you are looking at the faults of your spouse, you will observe that whatever he or she does may never please you. As you can’t be pleased by his or her actions, there is no way you can enjoy a successful and exciting marriage.
But if you will celebrate your spouse as I do, you will observe that you will so enjoy a successful and exciting marriage because what seem to be shortcomings are ignored and are never allowed to come in between each other in your marriage relationship.
Since you are not a perfect human being, you should never expect your spouse to be perfect.
Until I come your way again, stay committed to your marriage and learn to celebrate each other while building a successful and exciting marriage. Shalom.