In this life and in our society, some couples entered into a marriage relationship with the desire and high hopes of enjoying a successful and exciting marriage.
However, while some couples are enjoying their marriages to the fullest, some other couples are experiencing crises in their own marriages to the extent of marriage failures.
Some time ago, I met one woman in a shopping Mall. Since I knew her as she was one of my course mate at the University, I corned her and asked her about her husband? Instead of responding to my question, she busted into tears, saying that she never knew that her husband was a monster.
To avoid creating a further scene inside that shopping mall, I told her that I was waiting for her outside the shopping mall. When she eventually came out, I responded to what she said earlier that her husband was a monster. I asked her, “As your husband was a monster, will she have appreciated that he had died last year or that he should die that week”?
After I asked her the above question, the woman looked at me and shouted, “no, I don’t want my husband to die”. I am glad to point out that about 30 minutes I spent with that woman made a huge difference in her life and marriage because she implemented all that I told her.
To show that what I told her did a miracle in her marriage, she came back with some fruits, some weeks later to show to me appreciation. This time, she came together with her husband, who insisted on seeing me to personally thank me for saving his marriage.
The woman in turn confirmed or acknowledged that it was my suggestions that saved her marriage, as her husband had started showing her love and care. Also, she said that her husband is now taking good care of her and her family, the responsibilities he earlier abandoned and left for her.
I wish to say that the little things I shared with that woman are the things I am sharing here in this post. So, even if the current state of your marriage is not good, you can positively turn it around like that woman did if you wish by your readiness and willingness to implement what I am sharing in these posts.
In the first instance, couples who wish to build a successful and exciting marriage must necessarily avoid having the wrong mindset or change the wrong mindset they may have about their spouses and marriages.
The point is that some men as a result of the wrong mindset, call their wives witch and some women as a result of the wrong mindset, call their husbands a monster like that woman I shared her story above.
As long as couples have the wrong mindset about their spouses, they can never enjoy their marriages. This is because the wrong mindset you have about your spouse will eventually create a wrong mental picture of your spouse, which is why he/she may never do things that will please you.
As in the case with that woman in our story above, all I did was erase the wrong mental picture or image she had about her husband. In its place, I painted a positive mental image of a lovely and caring husband.
After painting or planting the image or picture of a loving and caring husband in her sub-consciousness, I told her that she should change her attitude to correspond to that new positive image she was carrying about her husband.
In other words, we are the ones who create what our spouse becomes. This is because you had created the image of a monster or a witch in your subconsciousness, that is the reason you consciously built an attitude to relate with a monster or a witch.
So, if consciously, you have a positive attitude to correspond with the positive image of a loving and caring spouse. You will see that your spouse will not even know when he/she eventually changes himself or herself to be loving and caring.
For instance, the woman in our story, that evening, told the husband that she was sorry that she denied him $ex the previous night and that he should go and get condoms or a family planning pile.
She told her husband that if he wanted to enjoy $ex that night, she was ready for him. However, he should use a condom, as she doesn’t want to become pregnant again that time.
The man, when he returned from buying the condoms, requested action immediately because, according to him, he was fearing that the wife could change her mind at night. The man further confessed that he started enjoying $ex with his wife starting from that day and never again did he has to beg her before she satisfies him $exually.
The following day, the man responded by buying some presents for his wife and starting from that day the husband started showing his wife love and care. See the acclamation of that woman some months later” I never knew that my husband was loving and caring”.
Whatever are the qualities you desire to see in your spouse, paint that image or picture of your spouse in your subconsciousness and change your attitude to correspond with that positive image or picture?
Once you start seeing your spouse as loving and caring. You should begin to relate to him/her as if he/she is already that man or woman you are having his/her image. Eventually that image tends to become a reality as he/she tends to become that person you imagined.
All that I am saying is that it is our actions and reactions that create what our spouse eventually becomes. So, through your own actions and reactions, you can positively change your spouse to become the man/woman you admire or want him/her to be.
This goes to justify what Bishop David Oyedepo used to say humorously. According to Bishop David Oyedepo, he said that they told him before he got married that one of the reasons that there are always crises in marriage is because couples kept stepping on each other’s toes all the time.
Bishop David Oyedepo responded humorously by saying that if that is the case, he will never have crises in his marriage because he will never put out his toes so as to allow his wife to step on them. As well, he will be so conscious that he will never step on the toes of his wife.
Today, if you look at the marriage of Bishop David Oyedepo, you will observe that they are having the best of time in their marriage. I myself learned that from Bishop David Oyedepo in that I refuse to bring out my toes, so as not to allow my wife to step on them.
In other words, I am enjoying the best of time in my own marriage doing everything humanely possible to ensure that my wife is happy and fulfilled, and I get fulfilled as well because my wife does the same.
So if you will build that attitude of never to do anything that will offend your spouse and as well refuse to take offense to what your spouse does, you will see that your marriage will never have crises.
We will continue our discourse next in part two, so until I come your way again, stay committed to your marriage and totally avoid having a wrong mindset or image/picture of your spouse.
Rather, create and plant a positive image of your spouse in your unconsciousness, and you will see that your marriage will be successful and exciting. Shalom!.