Writing on the topic “Absolutely your marriage was not a mistake” Part 1 and 2, one lady wrote me angrily accusing me of not being realistic and insensitive, saying that her marriage was real or actually a mistake.
Of course, I accept and agree with her; it will be highly insincerity or insensitive on my part to assume that there are no marriages that were actually a mistake.
The truth is that in reality, there are couples whose marriages were real or actually a mistake as they ignorantly entered into such marriages or accepted to marry their spouses without the slightest knowledge of the spouses they were getting married to.
In other words, marriages in which its foundation, was based in deceit and falsehood may be termed a mistake, as deceit and falsehood cause certain abnormalities or negative trends in such marriages that may be impossible to correct.
To this end, some noticeable mistakes in marriages originally come as a result of wrong foundations laid in such marriages. For instance, there was a case of a 25-year-old lady who got married to a 30-year-old man, only to discover after their marriage that the man was impotent.
In such a marriage, the lady can say that her marriage to that man was a mistake. The same applies to a young man who was the only son of his parents, who, after he got married to a lady only to discover that the lady had no womb having damaged her womb through abortion.
In the two cases above, both the man and the lady could claim that their marriage was really a mistake, as it was entered without the true knowledge of the person they got married to.
Also, there was a case of a lady, she was a university graduate, who desired and made up her mind that the man she will marry must be a graduate. However, unfortunately, she met a man who was a welder with an oil company, but the man claimed and gave her the impression that he was an engineer with an oil company while he did not go beyond secondary school.
The situation was similar to the lady in our previous post, who disappointed a university lecturer and ignorantly got married to an ordinary motor driver. The lady got married to the man because he gave her the false impression of being who he was not.
There was also this case of a lady who was doing prostitution in one hotel, but gave one young man the impression that she was working in that hotel as a paid staff of that hotel.
After their wedding, the lady forged a termination letter to give the husband the impression that she was fired by the hotel management.
Her husband, without the knowledge of the lady, decided to take that termination letter went and confronted the manager of the said hotel who was purported to have signed the letter to find out the offense the lady committed.
To the dismay, the general manager of that hotel who was purported to have signed the letter of termination called the rest of the female staff of the hotel.
It was the female staff members that told the man the truth, saying that the lady in question was not one of their staff but was only doing prostitution at that hotel.
Assuming that you are the man, what will you do, and how will you regard your marriage with that lady?
Having said that and at the same time, you cannot say that your marriage was a mistake because what you expected from your spouse is not what you got.
I said this because what you get in your marriage may be a function of what you give to that marriage. If you are not ready or willing to pay the price to achieve success in your marriage, if that marriage fails, you can’t attribute it to a mistake.
In conclusion, I wish to advise young men and women, that is eligible bachelors and spinster wishing to marry. To the ladies, never please should you marry a man out of pressure or sympathy.
I said this because of what happened recently, in which a man was rolling in mud because a lady she trained in school later turned down his marriage proposal.
Some were condemning the lady, but the lady has a personal choice to make concerning the man she will live with the rest of her life. If the man didn’t measure up, it will be wrong for the lady to accept the man out of sympathy.
On the other hand, as a man, that you have invested heavily in a lady does not mean that you must marry her to recoup your investment. Marriage must be in love if you expect it to last.
Coming to that incident, of the man rolling in the mud because the lady, she sponsored rejected his marriage proposal, is a fool for taking that action.
I said this because the lady did not owe the man an apology for rejecting his marriage proposal because all the thing the man did for the lady was to pay for the $exual pleasure he had been enjoying with the lady. In other words, he can’t eat his cake and still have it.
This is my humble opinion, but what is your own intake on the saga? Shalom!