In our society today, divorce and marriage failures are growing at an alarming rate. Divorce is nothing but an easy way out of a troubled marriage even though it is not the best option.
Some couples who had divorced or whose marriages had failed, they later regretted their action when they realize that what caused their divorce or marriage failure would have been fixed. It pains me whenever I read or hear about failed marriages and the minor issues that caused such marriages to fail.
Of a truth, our society is indirectly contributing to the collapse or failure of many marriages. They are contributing to the failure of many marriages by bringing outlaws that are at variance with the laws of God and the biblical principles that make for the success of the marriage.
One such law is the law that says that adultery is no longer illegal among married men and women. In other words, our society is directly promoting infidelity in marriage and infidelity is one major cause of marriage breakdown or failures.
This is a proven fact, any marriage in which there is a proven case of infidelity, such marriage hardly survives.
The reason is that love among couples get soured when either or both parties start seeing another man or woman. As a result of infidelity, their love gets divided and before long the love for their spouse gets soured.
To prove what I am saying, I wish to ask you “will you take it to see another man or woman to have affairs with your wife or husband under your watchful nose as a result of legalizing adultery”? I doubt if any man especially will withstand it.
Couples should realize that there are no better men or woman out there that is better than your husband or wife. It is when any of the couples begin to get involved in extramarital affairs that he or she may begin to compare his husband with that man or his wife with that lady.
But when their marriage eventually collapses, it is then that they realize that the man/woman they divorced was far better than their present man/woman.
CURE FOR INFIDELITY: As infidelity is the major cause of marriage breakdown or failures, the solution is to ensure that you never get involved at all.
Couples who have gotten involved, they should repent wholeheartedly and seek the forgiveness of their spouses.
And if their spouses seek their forgiveness, ensure that they forgive him or her wholeheartedly. Moreover, they should remember their marriage vows and vow never to allow another man/woman to see their pants except for their doctors.
OTHER WAYS TO FIX YOUR MARRIAGE
As said, one of the major problems of infidelity is that it poisons love among couples. Any marriage in which there is no love, such marriage hardly survives. So couples should endeavor or ensure that nothing happens to their love for each other.
Moreover, they should do everything possible to rekindle the love for each other if they sense that their love for each other is going down.
This is very important because love is the bedrock of every marriage and when love among couples is blossoming, they will never contemplate divorcing each other. The main reason for contemplating divorce is when love for each other gets soured.
When love gets soured among couples, other negative issues will begin to follow. So if couples concerned will agree to sit down and examine what happened to their first love?
One or both couple doesn’t get up one day and saw that his or her love got soured because it took time before it got soured. Anything alive keeps growing, so if your love for each other is not growing, you should do something about it before it gets soured.
Besides, unresolved conflict is one other thing that causes marriage failure. So couples should sit together and critically look at issues that are causing or bringing conflicts between them.
The conflict may be as a result of things any of the couples are doing that is hurting the other party, once the person concerned stop doing those things, the conflicts will stop.
Or it may be the good things any of the couples are doing before which the person has stopped doing now. You will see that the conflicts started when one of the couples stopped doing those things.
Couples who don’t wish to see their marriage fail should do everything and take time to build intimacy for each other. I advise couples having trouble with their marriages that the best option is to sit down and itemize things they like about their husband/wife and then things their husband/wife is doing that are hurting them or things they don’t like.
If couples are sincere with themselves, i.e. with each other, each starts working on those things that their partners wrote down which they are doing that are hurting him/her, things will surely improve.
Above all, couples should practice forgiveness. One of the reasons why some marriages fail or end in divorce is because one or both couples have something against each other which they refuse to forgive.
What is that thing that your partner did to you that is hurting you deeply? If you should sincerely forgive him/her from your heart, things will positively change.
The problem is that in most cases, some partners keep repeating those things they found out that are hurting their partner. Most often some couple gets tired and frustrated with having to forgive their partner all the time.
Also, couples should try to change the way they react to issues: If your partner refuses to change in doing things that are hurting you, you could change yourself in the way you react to those things?
That way, you will no longer feel hurt if he/she does that thing, and with time, you will found out that he/she did not know when he stopped doing those things.
Finally, couples should get more committed to their marriage: The problem with couples is that they are not committed to their marriage. If they are committed, many things they take offense will not be as they will ready to pay any prize to sustain their marriage.